Besides my desk sits a bottle of wine and a large rock both significant in a long journey of faith and the ongoing process of becoming whole.
Today I want to remember both in how I see the world, and unfortunately aware that I often act without recognizing either.
The wine bottle arrived after a evening of creating a new set of accounts for someone a reworking of the information to show a fuller picture in the hope the person who asked me to do it could keep their job. It wasn't going well, hubby was grumpy not to have me curled up beside him on the couch, and I kept finding errors in the spreadsheet and a quick half hour job became most of my evening.
My mind drifted into those thoughts of "This favor deserves a bottle of wine or a block of chocolate" a thank you, when close behind it flashed through my mind
red wine, an image of His blood
forgiveness,
a gift already given,
payment in full.
The wine bottle reminds me of the price Christ paid for me, it was a sobering image...one that's unfortunately dulled over time.
I picked a bottle up at the supermarket a few weeks later, cleaned the label off and there is sits... a covenant, reminder, God's grace to me, and His call to show grace to others. I'm still learning the lesson.
At the time I didn't realize that the person I was helping out that night would end up receiving a whole lot more ..and dismiss me far more publicly, with little more than a passing, politically purposeful glance maybe this morning as I pick up the pieces I need to remember the bottle of wine
Paid in full.
Beside it sits a round stone, grey, smooth, hard. Over time the same person, and those around me started dropping untrue accusations, stones thrown to hurt, to condemn, by those I cared about, by those who knew my innocence, and worked alongside me. "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone."
Forgiveness
Christ to us, ours when it hurts to love those around you even when they throw stones. Even when their words say more about their fears than your truth... Forgive.
Its been a long journey, as I pick up the pieces again, and add a deeper level of grace into the belonging, caring loving and being loved that is relationship, being part of and belonging to a church. Trying to recognize truth, repent of my sin, forgive that which has been done to me, and trust that God is still a God who works all things together for good.
Back to an old bottle or red wine, still sitting in the sunlight by my desk, and a smooth round stone. And the reminder to forgive again...
